The Summer Split: Family relationships under pressure

Summer is often portrayed as the happiest time of the year. Holidays, time together, long evenings and a break from the usual routine. But for some families, the summer holidays can put relationships under considerable pressure.

After weeks of disrupted routines, childcare arrangements, financial pressures and spending more time together, some couples may reach the point where they decide that their relationship is no longer working.

This is sometimes referred to as the “summer split” – when a couple separates during or shortly after the summer holidays. For couples who are already experiencing difficulties, having more time together can sometimes bring existing problems to the surface. There can also be pressure to make the summer “perfect”, particularly when finances are tight or expectations about holidays and family time are high.

What happens if you decide to separate?

If you have reached the decision to separate, it is understandable to feel overwhelmed by what happens next. There is no single approach that works for every family. Some couples are able to agree arrangements between themselves. Others need support from solicitors or family mediation to reach an agreement. The important thing is not to rush into decisions without understanding the legal and financial implications.

For parents, one of the biggest concerns following separation is understandably: “What happens to the children?” The focus should be on creating arrangements that work for the individual children and their circumstances. That can include decisions about:

• Where the children will live
• How much time they spend with each parent
  
• School holidays and Christmas
  
• Birthdays and special occasions
  
• Holidays abroad
  
• How parents communicate about the children
  
• School, healthcare and other important decisions
  

Do we have to go to court?

The simple answer here is No. Going to court is not the only way to resolve family-law issues. Where possible, reaching an agreement can often be less stressful for everyone involved, particularly where children are concerned. 

A solicitor can help you understand your legal position and negotiate on your behalf. Depending on the circumstances, alternative ways of resolving family disputes may also be appropriate. Louise Gillies, who heads up the Family Law team at Ness Gallagher Solicitors and is based in our Wishaw office, along with Ailie Lothian who is based in our Lanark office, are both experienced family law professionals with specialist accreditations in mediation.

Separation is not simply about deciding who lives where. Where an agreement cannot be reached, court proceedings may be necessary. There may be a house, mortgage, savings, pensions, investments, debts and other financial matters to consider and it is important to understand your financial position before agreeing to a final settlement.

This can be one of the most complicated aspects of separation, particularly where a couple has been together for many years or where one person has taken on more responsibility for looking after children or the home. Taking advice early can help you understand what needs to be addressed and avoid making decisions that could have long-term consequences.

If you want to find out more about your rights, your home, how you will arrange things for the children, and what happens to your finances, then get in touch. There is understandably a lot of emotion around relationship breakdown. But separating does not necessarily mean that everything has to become a fight. Where children are involved, finding a way to communicate and make practical arrangements can make a significant difference to family life in the months and years ahead.